Happy Thanksgiving and the truth about life away from home

Happy Thanksgiving!  (Well a day late but close enough for me)!

Hopefully my 2 week hiatus from the blog has not been a total disappointment to my kind readers.  The good news is that it was for a trip back to the US.  While I wish the whole 9 days were spent just hanging out and getting to see my loved ones, I unfortunately had to give 4 and a half days of that to work.  Even so, I am extremely grateful that I was able to go home for a little bit and get some time with this guy!

 This was the first time I spent Thanksgiving day without turkey, stuffing, cranberry-orange relish, mashed potatoes, mom’s famous broccoli casserole, spinach balls, Jarlsberg cheese dip, and probably close to 4 pieces of different pies to top it off (plus a 2nd round later on in the day).  Lucky for me, my family made sure I got a real Thanksgiving day while I was back home that included lots of my favorites (food and people)! 

So how does it feel to be 10,000 miles away from home on a holiday that is a huge deal in the US but not in Singapore?  Well it didn't feel too much like Thanksgiving day at all, to be honest.  It’s easier to not feel like you’re missing out on something when the place you’re in is completely different.  The weather is 80+ degrees in Singapore, all the trees are still green, there isn't a turkey to be found (unless you want to pay $200+), and no one (besides Ethan) wished me a happy Thanksgiving.  Of course the feelings changed when I say pictures on facebook but all in all it really wasn't the typical holiday weekend.

Speaking of feelings, I’ve been quite an emotional bucket since I left the US on Monday.  I guess it’s about time I spilt a little bit of what goes on in my head here on the blog.  Before I go further, WARNING – things are going to get emotional, no judgment if you’d rather stop reading now and wait for my next fun post. 

My last weekend at home was purely fantastic.  It started on Friday when I had an interview for a job that went great!  Then I got to spend time with Niles before helping usher my friend Katie to her surprise birthday party.  Luckily the 3 cups of coffee I consumed that evening helped keep me awake enough to enjoy fun games with a great group of friends late into the night.  Saturday was Thanksgiving!!  I came home to the wonderful smells of all things Thanksgiving, thanks to my mom who would gladly pass up sleep if it meant she got to cook or bake for one of her kids.  I filled myself up with delicious food and spent time catching up with family, followed by the classic Thanksgiving tradition of going for a walk on the beach.  Saturday night we watched some old family movies and laughed our heads off.  Then Sunday I got to pretend it was Christmas and went to a local farm that was all decked out for the holiday.  And Sunday night included a sweet goodbye to my loving boyfriend, and then getting some mom, dad, and me time. 

Happy faces on a happy day!

In essence, my last weekend home was just perfect.  And it left me feeling more and more sure that Massachusetts is where I want and need to be when my time in Singapore comes to an end. 

Yet, Monday when I left my dad at the airport to board my first of three flights, it felt unbearable to have to leave.  I reached DC where I was supposed to board my 13.5 hour flight to Tokyo only to have them tell me “No Miss, you’re flying tomorrow”.  Thankfully it was a mess up on my ticket and I was there for the right flight.  Yet, it just felt like so many things were pointing me to stay home and I almost wished my ticket was messed up and they’d have to send me back home for a little while. 

The truth is, as wonderful as it is to live in a foreign country and have this amazing experience, it’s not always easy.  The first half of my time here I didn't get too homesick, to my surprise.  It probably had to do with the fact that everything was new and an adventure and exciting.  Also, I was fortunate enough to have lots of visitors which helped keep me busy.  Yet coming back after such a short visit home, I felt so lost.  I hadn't been this homesick in a long time and it just consumed me.

Before I had left for the US I thought my return to Singapore would be so easy, I knew what life was like here and I figured I’d have no problem jumping back into the swing of things.  But I just felt so detached from the person I was before I left.  I’m basically just going through the motions, not taking time to enjoy the sunrises each morning or the sunsets each night.  I know that I need to just snap out of it and take advantage of this amazing chance to live in a totally different place.  But right now it’s just hard; hard knowing I have a wonderful boyfriend, loving family, and fun friends back at home, hard thinking about how exciting it’ll be to get off that plane in a couple months and not have to worry about leaving again, hard not to look at the calendar and count how many more days until I’m back home. 

After arriving home from Utah (my first experience living far away from home), my mom asked me to read her an entry from my journal of my worst day.  I was a little surprised as I would have expected her to want to hear a fun day, but as I read it aloud it immediately reminded me of how far I had come from that low moment.  This is my down day post for my time in Singapore and while it’s not easy to write especially for others to read, it’s necessary.  When I look back and read through my blog, I’ll be reminded of how hard it felt to come back to Singapore and how at that moment it felt completely impossible for me to get back to my happy, travel-loving self.  It’s also important for me to be honest to you who read this and think my life here is fabulous all the time.  At the end of the day, I’m really far away from home and I’d be crazy not to get cravings just to hug Niles or have one of my mom’s famous sticky buns (yes, she’s got a few famous dishes).   

The takeaway?  I’m 24 and I get homesick (which includes lots of crying).  But also realize that it’s okay to have down days.  The important thing is to keep your head up and push through those hard times, look for little things in each day that make you happy.

I know I’m a little down right now but I just have to keep pushing through and remember to stop and smell the roses.  Don’t get lost in the future, there’s plenty to be excited about right now.